Remote Frog

1:1s are golden to know people, to develop a relationship that is both human and useful, rewarding, and productive. So as a Team Lead I’ve always planned weekly 1:1s. If we have no topics on the agenda, we can wrap up faster… or not.

When you have 15 team members, as I had in the past, that can easily mean 15 hours per week (in practice it’s less, because someone is AFK, has to reschedule, or the meeting only takes 30–40 minutes instead of the full hour). I still believe they are incredibly valuable for shaping the team’s environment and building a relationship that makes it natural to take action when needed, and I would never voluntarily stop doing them. No doubt it is one of the major pieces in my great working environment strategy.

You can bet I’m enthusiastic about 1.1s and they are definitively in my leadership style and handbook… But are the people working with me just as enthusiastic?

The rest of this post reviews their answers to that question from an anonymous survey I ran about seven years ago, when I was leading a 15‑person team spread across EMEA time zones (Spain, the UK, South Africa, Poland, Romania, Portugal…). I recently rediscovered this draft that had slipped through the cracks, and it still felt worth publishing. I also left my comments unchanged.

Our 1.1s are valuable 4.69/5 and we created a safe environment on them 4.85/5?

This was a question I was concerned about. I’ve always advocated having weekly 1:1s with any team member -even when we have empty agendas- because I firmly believe that it contributes to creating rapport and confidence that is both human and useful. There is an option for having biweekly 1:1s especially with longer tenure HEs, but I actively decided not to do so (unless AFK… etc)

I thought I was doing the right thing as I’m personally proud of the long-term relationships we have gotten to create. But this approach has a risk: the team also needed to perceive these 1:1s as useful or my point of view would be an illusion. So I’m truly happy with the numeric answer but also with the comments my team mates shared (and answers to the question What would you change / What do you like from 1.1) , because it feels like we are in the right direction.

(Some answers are slightly redacted to preserve anonymity):

• … I reckon that keeping that time for better relationships helped me a ton.
• I like them, I like hearing your stories, I like getting to know each other better, mayby rotate 1:1 hangouts in the team as well, so we all get to know each other a little better.
• I love our 1:1s!! there’s always something to talk about – even if there’s nothing in the agenda! I feel that they’re private and ours – and that’s great. They can be all serious and formal if needed and playful as well. … They’re well balanced so they end up being one of the high times of my week.
• My experience with 1:1s so far has been totally positive, and it helped a lot to establish a communication channel with you, feeling listened to, and feel a “safe space” where to ask questions. … I always wait for my 1:1 appointment with interest, and it really helps with my self-confidence and to give a precise direction to my activities.
• Yes, 1:1s are great because they are either a fun conversation or a focussed work discussion. Both are useful and it means they never feel forced if there is no real valuable work-related discussion to have.
• I love our 1:1s!! there’s always something to talk about – even if there’s nothing in the agenda!
  I feel that they’re private and ours – and that’s great. They can be all serious and formal if needed and playful as well. That’s the great thing about them – I think! They’re well balanced so they end up being one of the high times of my week.
• Also for this one, I’ve just had a few of them, so it would be hard to say what could be missing in them. My experience with 1:1s so far has been totally positive, and it helped a lot to establish a communication channel with you, feeling listened to, and feel a “safe space” where to ask questions.
  Personally, I always wait for my 1:1 appointment with interest, and it really helps with my self-confidence and to give a precise direction to my activities.